Dear Zachary....

...is the saddest movie i have ever seen. I am a pretty insensitive asshole, and this documentary made me cry like a baby. Check it out and get back to mee!

wisdom teeth

i got my wisdom teeth out friday, and it was not that bad. I have just been kind of pissy due to the dietary restrictions, and the love my family has of rubbing prime rib for dinner in my face.

I was a bit disappointed i wasn't as rocked as i thought i would be due to the anesthetic, because i have heard some funny stories. (and seen those annoying youtube videos)

Do any of you have good wisdom teeth stories?

Halloweeen

How was everyone's halloween? (i will assume people will say good, and then extend the question to me, so i will go ahead and answer that.)

Mine was good, my friend and i accidentally went a little harder than we thought and ended our night early.

Did any of you see or dress up as good costumes? i didn't see too much creativity this year, but it was also cold as heck.

Hello Friends! News and maybe NSFW.....

Hello Everyone!
         i have been away from blogger for quite a while, i hope everyone who still follows me is doing well.
ill give you the cliffnotes version of my updated life before i jump into a funny story.
-new car, pretty kick ass, an audi (used of course)
- bio still stinks like a butt, but i am enjoying the school year. Very busy!
-gained 10 lbs, but dropped bodyfat %, currently 170 lbs and 11%.. have some self confidence.

Anyways, story time:

My friend and i have recently gotten into using coke, and despite the stigma it is an awesome drug. My only complaint is the cost and the slightly stuffy nose the next morning. Anyways, my friend was sort of seeing this one girl who was also a fan of the "finer things", and he said one day in his room they were blowing lines, and he goes "....Gotta do a few lines off of your ass."

Of course, that was no problem for her. Same night he says he is chopping up more yayo, butt naked, and for some reason, "has a rock hard boner". Clearly his only option is to even the playing field, and says "you can't not do a line off of this, but watch that razor." Ill leave the mechanics of the procedure out.

So now i gotta catch up, and do a line off an ass. Unfortunately, i have high standards for asses i do lines off of. Let me ask you, my friends, How attractive does one need to be for you to do a line off of their ass? 6+/10? 8+/10?

For me, it cant be just any ass, its gotta be a pretty awesome ass.

Casey Anthony you C***!!!!

So Casey Anthony killed her kid, and got aquitted. Lets play "What's on Casey Anthony's ipod?"

I set it to shuffle songs, what do you think will start playing next??? I'll go first:

Narutoooo

   Since summer hit and i have more free time, i have been taking full advantage of my netflix subscription. I started watching Naruto, which i thought initially was childish, but once i gave it a chance i love it. It has likable characters, very clever writers and legit storyline... And when you spend a minute humanizing the characters and the current plot, it is legitimately very sad a good portion of the time! definitely worth watching.

Cinco de...Drinko?

i saw a lot of facebook statuses saying "Cinco de Drinko" on may 5th.... Personally i would rather see "Drinko de Mayo", i feel it is more clever and still bastardizes the victory at the Battle of Puebla equally... Anyone else agree, or is it such an insignificant little thing that i shouldnt even care?

Checking in

Hello friends,
      i haven't posted anything in a while so i thought i would touch base. It's finals week and i have only two papers standing between me and summer... Once i get through those, i can narcissistically update everyone on the happenings in my life! until then......

ughhhh

Hello everyone, please forgive me for falling so far behind on my blogging duties. i have been stressed to the maxxxxx. Ever since adding a second major (has not taken effect yet, it will next semester), i have really been taking inventory on my scholarly life. For the time being, i have found i hate my current one (molecular bio). It must be due to the courseload i have to take to get the degree. i got all but two classes done with a year ago, but was still at least 30 hours short of graduation. So, i am currently taking irrelevant upper division courses that don't have shit to do with my major! And to make things even better, most of the classes have nothing to do with each other, despite being one of the bio sciences.

So i get to spend lots of time learning shit i will never need to remember, or know, or care about in a few months. Want to know what a pterygiophore has to do with molecular bio? nothing! Currently i am cramming for a test where the teacher has over 200 powerpoint slides loaded with big words to memorize.

I cant help but reflect back on all the fun times and great nights with my friends....that i missed out on because i decided to go to class the next day, or study, or do a paper. Weak. Once this semester is over i will get back on my proper schedule of my blogging responsibilities, and who know, maybe i will have something positive or uplifting to write about for a change!

TL;DR wahhhh wahhhhhhh wahhhhhhhhh, poooor me



Heres a video clip that captures how i feel at this point in time. I am the shoe.

Watch this!!

Just watched a kick-ass documentary called "Fat Head".. At face value, a man tries to lose weight by just eating a diet of fast food. On a deeper level, its about fat in our diet and society; and how the views have been formed by personal agendas, propaganda and corporate funding. i dare say it was shocking, though corny at times. (the corniness comes from some of the jokes of the narrator, but he means well). This is literally changing the way i eat, and it takes a dump on what/how we have been told to eat. Though it may be slow at parts, and have some juvenile jokes, i urge you to watch it!!!


                         My face when i got some of the information in this documentary

Any good pranks this year?

April Fool's Day was just a few days ago, and i didn't prank shit. i either couldn't think of anything, or came up with an idea that went way tooo far. Since i didn't want to scar anyone emotionally or be cast as a sociopath, i just did nothing.  Did anyone pull off any good pranks this year?

Holy Shit Bad Timing

I was watching TV the other day, and saw a commercial for the movie Believer, the true story of the surfer girl who lost her arm in a shark attack and her struggle to the top. Immediately following that one i hear "Which one tasted better?" and it was the effing snickers commercial with a panel of sharks discussing how a man tasted better because he had eaten a snickers bar! what poor, yet hilarious, ad placement....

extended vacation

In response to my last post, that was a quote from the Narrator of the movie "the Sandlot". Kudos to you who caught it, and for the ones who didn't: check out that movie, it is a childhood classic and still kicks ass today.

I must apologize for my absence lately, i had a lot going on in my personal life. I recently decided to add a second major. Not a big deal, but 20 credit hours shy from my current degree, i feel like it took a lot of thought. Clearly i am too deep to just abandon it, so instead i added another one.  My expectations of the research field i wanted to go into are just much different than the reality; so i decided it smarter to inconvenience myself for two more years and get two bachelors.

My dad put it best when he said "Better to find out now you weren't gonna be happy, than when you are 30, hate your dead-end job and have a kid and a knocked-up wife to support" Whether he is speaking from personal experience or not is up for debate....

I'll follow up with part 2 of my self-indulgent pity party in a few days.......

???

     Michael "Squints" Palledorous walked a little taller that day. And we had to tip our hats to him. He was lucky she hadn't beat the crap out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten, and low... and cool. Not another one among us would have ever in a million years even for a million dollars have the guts to put the moves on the lifeguard. He did. He had kissed a woman. And he had kissed her long and good. We got banned from the pool forever that day. But every time we walked by after that, the lifeguard looked down from her tower, right over at Squints, and smiled.

Nostalgia'd

I am not sure how i stumbled upon this video, but one i heard the song i felt that strange knot of nostalgia.. Is anyone in the same boat as me with this one? (doesnt really pick up until 15 seconds in) (the hairdo doesn't help either....)

The Gang

     i live in suburbia near some small woods, so ive seen my fair share of deer over the years. But this winter, a herd of about 14 has moved into my neighborhood. Every day at twilight you can see them walking single file through my neighbor's backyard to another neighbor's house where they feed them. There is one who is always a bit behind, on account of her formerly broken leg. It never healed correctly, so it makes walking quite awkward. At first i felt bad, thinking she was in pain and suffering. Then one day i saw her take off like a shot, easily three times faster than i could ever run. It dawned on me that although her leg made walking cumbersome, she is doing well.  I felt better after having realized they are built much hardier than we are. I haven't seen them for several days, but i am sure she is still trucking with the rest of the group. There is no point to this post, just a story i thought i'd share.

Bastards

I went to eat some cereal today, and was excited to see a box of trix in the cupboard. Trix used to be my favorite, and i hadn't eaten it in years. i grab a huge bowl and start pouring. Different colored spheres tumble out. what the fuck! where are my fruit shaped nuggets? WHERE?! did they cut back on a big part of Trix's awesomeness just to save money? i still ate it, not wanting to waste food, but it didnt taste nearly as good as i remember. It tasted sad, tasted broken.....

Not just an Urban Legend anymore!!!

Everyone hears those outrageous stories about something amazing happening to a friend of a friend, but none of us ever believe these things actually happen. But this time, it did. I am now one of the rare friend of a friends you occasionally hear about. Allow me to elaborate....

     It was a late, ordinary summer night, so i decided to watch some pron. First video has the caption "College amateurs!", and since i am in college (and like amateurs), i decided to give it a shot. Ten seconds in, i stop it since it was so lame. I look down at the related videos section and see what resembles a familiar face... "Can't be..." i thought to myself, clicking the video just to be sure. Once it starts playing  i start smirking, because the blonde in this video has the same unique face as a blonde i met the previous summer... Still, i am not totally convinced, since the video is low quality.... Until she turns around, revealing a small tattoo on her lower back!

hahahahah! This is no time to fap, so i immediately blow up my friend's phone. This is something that i have to share. Unfortunately he is sleeping, so i finish the (sadly, disappointing) video. After sending the link via facebook to almost every mutual friend we have, i go to bed. It is hard to sleep with my excitement, but i know i must so i can time travel to when my friends will be awake. The next morning i call someone who would know for sure, and we are on the phone as she opens the link.
"Ohhhhhhhhh my goddddd" is all i hear, and thats all i need. i throw my arms up in a V, fists clenched. Victory. These next images represent how i felt for the following week. Cloud Nine.

                              

A little background information, when i met her she was playing a game of strip pong with 3 other girls, and ironically, she was the most reluctant to get down to her undies. For a little more information, she isnt in the pron business, she (and her two friends) just decided to take advantage of some websites offering money to amateur submitted videos. i ran into her a few months ago, and we said nothing to each other; either because we both knew that i knew/saw (and let everyone else know/see), or we just didn't care enough to say anything. I hope some of you get to experience the joys of such a discovery someday. thanks for reading.

lame

It has been a pretty shitty week. For my older followers, you might remember i had the flu a few weeks ago, and that had me on quarantine for about 12 days, meaning i missed about two weeks of class. Well i came back, spoke with my teachers and got all the missing work/readings. I wish catching up were that easy. After i came back i had about a week before there were two exams in two different classes, so i had to catch up on two weeks of old material and learn one week of new material. i tried, and then took the exams. I got them back this week and i bombed them both. i dont feel bad though, its like the circuit breaker of stress in my head flipped due to the overload. maybe i will snap back to reality and will feel shitty, but until then, i think im good.
                                                      TL;DR : shit hit the fan

The Highlander, The Kurgan, Charlie Sheen?

Well i went to the doctor yesterday, and had some X-rays done. Looks like its just a strained trapezius, but that shit is stiff. moving my neck feels like pulling cold taffy. oh well, could be a helluva lot worse.

Hopping on the "post about charlie sheen" bandwagon, i gotta say, this guy's system is amazing. The amount of drugs he can take and still function without a diaper, nay, normally, is astonishing. he should be studied, maybe he can unlock some mysteries of the human body. i suspect the only thing that can kill him is another immortal taking his head. There can be only one!

                                     The Vegas "freak out" Capri Anderson was talking about
                                   

Ouch...

Tuesday i was in a car accident, due to a nice big patch of ice in the road. My head made a quick jerk in the 2 o'clock direction and immediately something from the base of my occipital down my trapezius seized up. since then i have been more or less shuffling around like a WWII POW. i assume its just a muscle strain, but one of my damn friends planted a seed in my brain with an anecdote about her friend's aunt getting in a wreck, thinking she pulled a muscle but actually fractured her neck. I feel like its one of those urban legend deals, but it simmered long enough to make me nervous. so tomorrow i go to the doctors to find out what the deal is.

That "classic" sucked!

   Good Will Hunting is a case study in narcissism. Now before you all tear me a new one, hear me out. in a nutshell summary, the super-genius badass from the streets gets the girl in the end. Written by Matt Damon, starring Matt Damon. What a touching, original of story of struggle and hardship we can all relate to. I am actually working on the sequel as we speak, Good Will Hunting 2. It stars myself as a well-hung billionaire with wings, who in addition to curing cancer and finding a solution to world hunger, has legions of gorgeous women throwing themselves at my character.  Think i will win an oscar for a film of such depth?

Life's little pleasures...

My current simple pleasure is opening a bottle of snapple, and getting a fact you havent seen before. i always smirk and nod, thinking "Good to know..." Today's was that dragonflies cannot walk despite having 6 legs. they just use that shit to land. huh.... Do any of you have some interesting little factoids that can make us all just a little bit more pretentious at parties?

Soul Calibur 2...

in response to my last post, i had no idea dueces meant goodbye; i meant it in the "two" sense haha. im gonna be around a while..... hopefully this doesnt disappoint anyone.

Soul Calibur 2 was a kick ass game. i love the fighting styles, the graphics and design, and i thought it was cool that each system had its own unique character. Obviously gamecube got Link, i was super jealous that xbox got Spawn, and the PS2, my system, got Heihachi. Bullshit. total bullshit.
   Sure, Tekken is a staple game for Sony, and soul calibur is a fighting game, but the Soul series is about kicking ass with weapons. Heihachi has no weapons, just lame bracelets at best ("his hands are deadly weapsons" is a cop out.) So why the hell did they put him in the game?
     They already have a Tekken character, Yoshimitsu, so why add another?  I liked that you could choose different styles of weapons for your characters as you advanced in the game, but all Heihachi got was different tattoo sleeves to wear on his arms. ick.
I think the powers that be should have went with Dante. He has a sword, thats pretty much all the criteria you need, and its something heihachi couldn't meet. But he also happens to be the protagonist of one of the best playstation game series ever. Is there any other superior candidate you think the PS2 version should've gotten?

Well now that my childish, outdated diatribe is finished, i think i can finally get over this injustice. feelsgoodman.jpg

Dueces?!

Since i missed the "100 Followers" post, i figured i better do number 200.. Thanks everyone, and an especially big thanks to everyone who read my last post allll the way through. I appreciate the advice from you all, and i will let it simmer and think things over (objectively).
 
   Since my last one was so long, i figured i would keep today's short and sweet. Is there any song that really makes you think "1990's"? I am talking about the quintessential 90's song. I had a few, so i had trouble choosing, but i managed to pick a couple decent candidates. Let me know your choice, or what you think of mine. Or both!

Too close a call....

I don't know how many of you got to see, but yesterday i posted a blog about some inner turmoil i have been having lately. Not to go Class A emo, but it's the struggle over if i actually have feelings for this one girl or if i just think i do.. Not surprisingly, same girl from my Valentine's Day Hijinks post. Literally within 45 minutes of posting that, she texts me and asks what my blog is called. Creep.... So i ultimately decided to stall, delete the post, and let her take a look without (hopefully) compromising anything. You may wonder why I would re-post, but i highly doubt she would return here, it was probably just to read the Valentine's Day one. Anyways, I'd like input from total, objective strangers so i am going to type something like it up again. If you will only read one of my posts in it's entirety, please let it be this one.

     Lately i have been having some stomach aches due to potential unrequited infatuation... The kind where you realize the reality you hope for just isn't in the cards. I use the word potential because i am not sure if i truly like this girl though, i fear i may have romanticized things in my head a bit (or more, as i have done). We briefly saw each other a few weeks ago, and after we parted ways she sent me a text that said "not gonna lie, you got kinda hot since i last saw you", I dont hear things like that often, and it takes some cajones to just say that, so it felt good.  Damn good. Especially from her. i kept up some sort of texting relationship, and thats where things got tricky for me. Shes a kick ass girl, great qualities, the works, so i start asking myself, "do you think you're crushing on her?" Part of me says "yes, why wouldn't you be? you have high standards, and she exceeds them" while another is a bit more skeptical, "Are you sure its not just a by-proxy attraction, or an attraction to only the idea?" I am conflicted with how to figure things out, because there is a bit of a, uhhhh, complicated history between her and some of the people i hang out with. The pessimist (if not the realist) in me thinks things will turn sour/awkward/just plain fucked up very fast if i were to bring the two parts together.  My other fear is that things DO work out, i get what i want, and it turns out it wasn't what i was after in the first place...So for now, my hope is that i can keep things at the status quo for the time being while i screw my head on straight. Ugh the melodrama.

     Thats only the half of it, folks! She has a lingering ex, comparable only to genital herpes... Disappears, but never gone for good (oozing sores included). From what i have heard, the guy is a total scumbag piece of garbage who shes "happiest when with him"... despite feeling like shit on a near weekly basis due to him, coincidentally. This is a clear example of the Douchebag Theory. For those unfamiliar, ill post an image below. Its frustrating to think about, knowing some dipshit has the girl out of your reach, (one you wonder if you even have a chance with), on a short leash, taking advantage of the fact she can't shake the romanticized delusion (noun: a fixed false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact) of him being something he is clearly not. The worst part is, she thinks she is not good enough, more or less making her desperate to prove herself to him. How do you deal with that? Somehow she tricked herself into thinking she isnt good enough for him, which is how he is able to keep her on such a short leash. Cant things not be going the way she wants because hes a piece of shit? She wants it to work with him so bad at times, that when things are objectively decent at best, she is elated; thus thinking these are her happiest moments. But then true colors shine through and she despises him, perpetuating this annoying and frustrating cycle. There are noticeable gaps in that time though; i hope to appear in them and bat my eyelashes. But as for now, Hope is the only thing i have. Well that, and a stomach ache.

Douchebag Theory explained: 

if he treats me like shit.... then by getting him to like me... i have established self worth

The Next Episode Episode Episode Episode........

Well the job i had been working at for the past four and half years finally went belly up, and now i am out of a job. Not the end of the world, since it was just part time and i still am a student, but it still sucks. In addition to looking for a new part time job, i was thinking about investing and growing my personal savings (i managed to save a pretty decent chunk o' change from my old job) The only problem is, i dont know shit about doing that. Does anyone know where i could start my quest to learn how to work something like that,  have some advice, anything? Or would it be in my best interest to forget about it? i look forward to see what input everyone has.  Even general tips for building my personal wealth would be valuable.. thanks everyone!

Valentine's Day Hijinks

     I have this one friend who is the type of girl thats a total knockout, but has seriously shitty self-esteem. I figured i'd do something nice, anonymously send her some flowers, to give her a little swagger (at least for that day). So i skip class and head to the local flower shop. The first arrangement i saw looked good, but then i noticed a crinkled petal. That shit's not gonna fly here.  I look a little more, then buy some pretty badass tulips out from under this married guy in his 30's, who thought they were "too expensive" (the guy pulled up in a Benz... she's your wife, douche). i gave him a "come at me, bro" smirk as i walked out the door, like a boss, with the flowers under my arm. From there, i enlisted a friend of mine she's never met to act as "delivery boy". So simple its foolproof, right? Well, thats when the shit hit the fan. When I reach campus at 9:30, the friend who initially agreed to help fell back asleep at about 9 that morning, during the window of time before his 11 am class i wanted to use. My three calls went unanswered so i tried someone else, still no luck. Meanwhile, i gotta keep these flowers cold so they stay lookin dope, so i am driving around the city blasting A/C with the windows rolled down. The temperature for that day was 37° F, with light snow and hail. Damnit. Finally my buddy wakes back up and texts me at 10:50 am, and says he can help after his class ends at 12:15. Ok, i can wait another hour or so, still with the windows down. During the wait, i run to a store to get one of those sticks you can put a little card in or a nametag, to try to kill some time. Finally his class ends and i pick him up at his dorm, and he writes her name on the card, in small, sorta sloppy print... Eh, i can't let that go, so i go get another card and some friendly cashier writes her name for me, in her nice woman handwriting. Now we can make the delivery. I call the front desk of her apartment complex to see where i would need to go to deliver flowers, and i am told we can take them right to the apartment. I know the building number, but not the specific apartment number, shit! So i call back and ask for his help, and he puts me on hold while he looks her up. During that time, my friend and i get to talkin.

  "Dude, i dont think he is allowed to tell you where she lives just because you know her. i mean, what if a guy was planning on killing his ex wife or something?"
   "Damn, you're right... hopefully he isnt tracing this call or anything haha" <--nervous laughter

From here i debate pretending to be a police officer who needs a statement from her, but i dont want to make her look bad. Plus, i dont know if she is worth a felony charge... Finally the clerk gets back to me, saying there is no registration for her here, even though she could still live there. Crap. Or he is lying to me so i don't pester him for information he cant give. Anyways, time for plan B, in which my buddy took a serious bullet for me. He went into the building and knocked on every door he heard noise coming from (i mean listening in with his ear to the door) and asked if the people inside knew her. (Lots of girls were disappointed on finding out these amazing flowers werent for them) No one had heard of her! As i drive him back to his dorm we joke she is actually a ghost of someone that died on Valentines Day 50 years ago. Then i text her to find out if she actually lives there, which she says she does. From here, my hand is forced and i spill about my secret plan, ruining the surprise. She tells me her apartment number, which i then tell to my friend to appease his curiosity, and turns out he went to their next door neighbors, (she is apartment X, he went to X + 1)... But still they hadn't heard of her. I am determined to get her these flowers after this (cold) ordeal, so she tells me her roommate will be back at their apartment at 2 (it was a bit after 1 at this time). After sitting in a parking lot for a bit, still with my windows down, wind blowing, and light hail, i double check if her roommate will be there AT 2... Turns out, she was there now, and was leaving very soon.... sigh, of course. So i raced back to the building, shoddily park in what i hope wasn't a handicapped spot, and bounded up a couple flights of stairs. I finally get there, make the drop to her roommate, mission succeeded.

Oh Shit!

My first memory of watching a film, any film at all, was Pet Sematary (thanks, Dad....) It wasnt the evil kid, or the friendly ghost with the split open head, but a flashback from the female lead's past. She told the story of her sister Zelda, who had spinal meningitis and was kept in the back room of the house. That flashback was some of the scariest shit to date. I dont know if it was the combo of being at the young age where we start forming our real memories and how creepy it was, but re-watching that scene takes me back to that little toddler who hadn't seen a horror movie ever before. I have to have a light on in this room to even type about it, yeeesh. What scares the shit out of you?

This is the best clip i could find. Enjoy.

"uhhh ya, im in a baaand, severe tire damage....."

My friends and i have some semblance of musical ability, so we have always tossed around the idea of starting a band. nothing serious, strictly for fun only.  The ideas we come up with revolve around a specific theme, and doing cover songs. I think i will list them....

1. Chixie Dicks - The name comes from a Zack Galifinakis stand-up where he says he "wants to make an all male country pop trio". The idea is to cover song's done by female artists, or at least groups with female vocalists. The punchline is the band is all guys! har har har......

2. No name for this one, just a harry potter themed band and an excuse for me to dress as a death eater.  Still no original songs, just modified covers to find the theme. My magnum opus for this one is a cover of Slayer's Raining Blood, re-worked to "raining mudblood" (from a sectumsempra skyyyyy!!!!). Is this my coming out as a huge dork?

3. Still no name, and still no original material. This band also would play re-worked songs, except with a Pokemon theme.(yes, i do like pokemon).  The song i am currently working on is called "Like a pid-gey6", a cover of the far east movement's Like a G6. the idea for the song is due to the comic i have posted below.


Bonus points for anyone who knows which movie the post title came from!
                                           
                            Here's the comic inspiration, props to the genius behind it

Pokemon allegory

I didn't write this, but i thought it was incredibly clever when it comes to picking up women.

"Think of it like taking your Charmander around in Pokemon, battling a shit-ton of weak pokemon early on. Once you get high enough in level, you beat Brock, and move on. There are new challenges, but you also have new moves. You get further, maybe even add some new social skills (new Pokemon, new moves). Eventually, you will get to the Elite Four and fuck a hot bitch, but you have to fight bug trainers before you can beat Lance."

What do you think?

Most Beautiful Song

A friend of mine recently asked "What do you think is the most beautiful song ever?" That left it pretty open to individual interpretation, so it wasn't geared toward a specific genre. I saw a few answers that i sort of expected, being famous classical pieces and such, but mine was more about how it made me feel. The song i answered with is calming, soothing, has a simple yet infectious bassline, and a soft melody. The song has the feel of a giant sigh of relief, as if you had just completed an arduous journey that was stacked against you from the start; and were met with lots of sacrifice along the way. this is the song id expect to hear playing after you finish, and are on your way home, victorious.

Orbital - Halcyon & on & on

(the video also adds to the sheer epicness of this song)

Travel Channel Showdown

During my quarantine, i have been watching a lot of the of the good travel channel shows, such as Man v Food, Bizarre Foods, and No Reservations. I think they all have sweet jobs, but which one is the best? Personally i think Anthony Bourdain does, host of No Reservations. Since its my blog and i can put whatever inane crap i want, let me walk you through my thought process.

Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods) - Yes, he gets to travel to exotic countries all over the world, thats awesome.  But he doesnt always get to that country's finest restaurants, he goes out into the shit with the locals to sample traditional food, and like the title indicates, bizarre food. He tries everything to respect the customs and the people, but no matter how refined your palate is, or open your mind, some things are just repulsive. He once ate raw cow meat dipped in joint fluid, a lamprey, as well as rotten shark. Fun job, but those are some major strikes against it.

Adam Richman (Man v Food) - I would love to have 95% of Adam Richman's job. Travel around the country to renowned, popular places, mash unique and inventive bar food, loads of BBQ, cheesy stuff, fried stuff, fried cheesy stuff, etc. He is living every college student's dream, almost. The show revolves around food challenges in these towns, and they catch the attention of the Travel Channel because they are fuckin hard.  Most of the time is a massive portion, which we all know sucks when you eat past capacity, but the worst are the spicy challenges.  Most of those hot wings are blasted with capsaicin extract, which is the compound giving spicy foods their sting. it can actually cause physical problems to an individual. Fuck that. The worst part is, he doesnt always win. Fun job yes, but the pain is not worth it.

Anthony Bourdain (No Reservations)  - Anthony is a bit of curmudgeon, who enjoys smoking, drinking, good food and tells it like it is.  He combines the travel and experiences of Bizarre Foods with the food scene samplings of Man v Food. Best part though, none of the drawbacks.  Anthony get to check out popular local places, eat traditional (yet not nasty) food, dine at the finest restaurants, and travel with locals to get a feel for the life there. and drink!  No Reservations offers a vacation that isnt just for tourists to take pictures and buy junk souvenirs, Anthony knows the right people to show him the heart and soul of where he is visiting. Being the host of No Reservations would offer the chance to take amazing vacations as your job, thats why i think it would be the #1 job to have on the Travel Channel.

Possibly Best Valentine's Day Tip Ever...

With Valentine's Day coming up, some of my guy friends are struggling to find a good gift idea for their girlfriends, but also dont want to spend a lot of money on something superficial (which is all valentines day gifts really are?). It dawned on me, why not get YOURSELF something for valentine's day, DISGUISED as a gift? It is simple, get at least a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for her, some flowers (not just roses, think outside the box a little), and you're set. Girls love shopping at VS, and guys love chicks in awesome undies, so who really benefits from a gift like that? ...Exactly. Hope this helps.

Total Douchebags

I was watching some of the History Channel, and on came a commercial for American Pickers. For those not familiar, two dopes travel around to places owned/lived in by elderly people with hoarding problems, and sort through their junk looking for valuable memorabilia. seems innocent enough, until i watched part of an episode. They found some old man in foreclosure and low-balled him as hard as they could, knowing he had to get rid of this stuff, taking advantage of the fact he is stuck between a rock and hard place.  What sickened me most, and inspired this blog, was the newest commercial i saw... The taller one spots a rare schwinn bike, of which only about 10 have been accounted for, and his eyes bug out. You see his wheels turning, that he cannot let this old man know what a gem he has so he can get it for dirt cheap. The worst part of this show is that these guys act overly friendly and gregarious to the people they meet, to disguise what slimy, wolve's-in-sheep's clothing they really are. I have noticed they have the same glint in their eyes as Ted Haggard's from back when i first saw Jesus Camp.. and we all know what happened since then

Elder Scrolls 5??

I just saw that there is going to be an elder scrolls 5 game coming out 11/11/11 (how poetic...). this is my coming out as an RPG nerd, but i am fucking stoked. My first elder scrolls experience was playing oblivion, and i sucked ass. I didnt know anything about properly leveling up, training skills, or even how to fight correctly. Several months later i picked the game back up, and with some research ( plus 160 hours of gameplay), i turned my argonian into the most badass thing on cyrodil. The game i previously thought was immense and nearly unending, was finally (sadly?) finished. But now i have a new game to look forward to. Despite the teaser offering a half-step above nothing, this one looks to be bigger, better graphics, more customizable, and all round more...awesome. Anyone else excited for Skyrim?

Just look at that sword!

The Flu

I found out today that i have the flu... not the fake flu where you just puke for a day, but the legit HxNx virus. Unfortunately, it isnt the H1N1 swine flu, so i wont get to be on the local news and get a chance to troll myself onto tosh.0; oh well.  despite never having this before now, the symptoms are just like a monster hangover. that being said, Do you think that having influenza is a fair trade for getting out of several hours of boring classes/being able to sleep 18+ hours a day? so far, i think so; but that could change very soon....

...Blogging?

What makes a good blog? what would be something that draws people to read this, and attracts more followers? i dont have tales of my exotic travels, or outrageous party stories with salacious young women, but i do have some level of creativity. i will try not to disappoint.