Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Valentine's Day Hijinks

     I have this one friend who is the type of girl thats a total knockout, but has seriously shitty self-esteem. I figured i'd do something nice, anonymously send her some flowers, to give her a little swagger (at least for that day). So i skip class and head to the local flower shop. The first arrangement i saw looked good, but then i noticed a crinkled petal. That shit's not gonna fly here.  I look a little more, then buy some pretty badass tulips out from under this married guy in his 30's, who thought they were "too expensive" (the guy pulled up in a Benz... she's your wife, douche). i gave him a "come at me, bro" smirk as i walked out the door, like a boss, with the flowers under my arm. From there, i enlisted a friend of mine she's never met to act as "delivery boy". So simple its foolproof, right? Well, thats when the shit hit the fan. When I reach campus at 9:30, the friend who initially agreed to help fell back asleep at about 9 that morning, during the window of time before his 11 am class i wanted to use. My three calls went unanswered so i tried someone else, still no luck. Meanwhile, i gotta keep these flowers cold so they stay lookin dope, so i am driving around the city blasting A/C with the windows rolled down. The temperature for that day was 37° F, with light snow and hail. Damnit. Finally my buddy wakes back up and texts me at 10:50 am, and says he can help after his class ends at 12:15. Ok, i can wait another hour or so, still with the windows down. During the wait, i run to a store to get one of those sticks you can put a little card in or a nametag, to try to kill some time. Finally his class ends and i pick him up at his dorm, and he writes her name on the card, in small, sorta sloppy print... Eh, i can't let that go, so i go get another card and some friendly cashier writes her name for me, in her nice woman handwriting. Now we can make the delivery. I call the front desk of her apartment complex to see where i would need to go to deliver flowers, and i am told we can take them right to the apartment. I know the building number, but not the specific apartment number, shit! So i call back and ask for his help, and he puts me on hold while he looks her up. During that time, my friend and i get to talkin.

  "Dude, i dont think he is allowed to tell you where she lives just because you know her. i mean, what if a guy was planning on killing his ex wife or something?"
   "Damn, you're right... hopefully he isnt tracing this call or anything haha" <--nervous laughter

From here i debate pretending to be a police officer who needs a statement from her, but i dont want to make her look bad. Plus, i dont know if she is worth a felony charge... Finally the clerk gets back to me, saying there is no registration for her here, even though she could still live there. Crap. Or he is lying to me so i don't pester him for information he cant give. Anyways, time for plan B, in which my buddy took a serious bullet for me. He went into the building and knocked on every door he heard noise coming from (i mean listening in with his ear to the door) and asked if the people inside knew her. (Lots of girls were disappointed on finding out these amazing flowers werent for them) No one had heard of her! As i drive him back to his dorm we joke she is actually a ghost of someone that died on Valentines Day 50 years ago. Then i text her to find out if she actually lives there, which she says she does. From here, my hand is forced and i spill about my secret plan, ruining the surprise. She tells me her apartment number, which i then tell to my friend to appease his curiosity, and turns out he went to their next door neighbors, (she is apartment X, he went to X + 1)... But still they hadn't heard of her. I am determined to get her these flowers after this (cold) ordeal, so she tells me her roommate will be back at their apartment at 2 (it was a bit after 1 at this time). After sitting in a parking lot for a bit, still with my windows down, wind blowing, and light hail, i double check if her roommate will be there AT 2... Turns out, she was there now, and was leaving very soon.... sigh, of course. So i raced back to the building, shoddily park in what i hope wasn't a handicapped spot, and bounded up a couple flights of stairs. I finally get there, make the drop to her roommate, mission succeeded.


50 comments:

  1. You're such a lovely guy! She's lucky to have a friend as dedicated as you :)

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  2. woow u're rly a gr8 friend. tks for sharing

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  3. Did you have the Mission Impossible song in your head?

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  4. What? Cant be real. You better score with her.

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  5. lol good post. i always hate vday though :/

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  6. thats pretty cool man

    http://thetroshow.blogspot.com/

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  7. cool story, bro...hahaha nah but seriously good work though you have to tell us what happened next!

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  8. Haha good job man! Perseverance is a great trait to have :D

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  9. haha, sick. from what my guy friends say, the way they get girls is to find the balance between being a dick and being nice.

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  10. damn dude you're a super good friend, I would've given up after my friend blew it and didn't wake up, or I would've just taken her out. I mean she's a bombshell right?

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  11. You sound like a stand-up guy. Here's to some good karma headed your way.

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  12. Wow, amazing story...I wonder what her reaction was.

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  13. haha..cool! :D
    thefitmuscle.blogspot.com
    $upported, return the favour bro?

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  14. Sounds like more than a friend dood.

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  15. The pic at the end: very appropriate. I'm following you man. Return the favor? Thanks

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  16. so then what happen? do you have a crush on her? cuz thats a hell of a lot of trouble to go for just one friend. or maybe im just an asshole in that way?

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  17. lol, you have actually done more for just a friend than that guy for his wife. Way to go.

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  18. You're a better friend than I am, that's for sure. Kudos to you, man.

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  19. AHAHHA thats funny ass shit. made me laugh and makes me want to do something nice for someone and actually succeed

    therichesthappiest.blogspot.com

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  20. Mission accomplish! You have a good heart :)

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  21. Joly shit that's a lot of work. You sound like a good friend though.

    http://robertfunf.blogspot.com/

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  22. I gotta try this

    http://ipiliviensomewhere.blogspot.com/

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  23. what powerful actions to make someone feel good

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  24. wow, a lot of trouble but you finally cheered her up :)
    supporting

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  25. haha great plan, did it work though?

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  26. haha awe thats really nice of you man. Good stuff

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  27. Aww, too bad you had to be put through the ringer. Nice guys may finish last but at least they finish what they start.

    Following!
    The Sacred Wisdom of DragonballZ?!?

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  28. cool story bro :)
    binster20.blogspot.com

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  29. I ate a meatball sub in my parent's basement for valentine's day. I'm 42.

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  30. Fuck yeahhhh... sucks it was soo cold... also sucks when a friend doesn't follow through...

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  31. damn dude, that's quite the ordeal. good thing it was worth it in the end somewhat. is is wrong that the entire time i was thinking "that poor fucking air conditioning unit!"

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  32. You went to great lengths getting this girl a bouquet of flowers. Great story. Nice blog.

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