Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Too close a call....

I don't know how many of you got to see, but yesterday i posted a blog about some inner turmoil i have been having lately. Not to go Class A emo, but it's the struggle over if i actually have feelings for this one girl or if i just think i do.. Not surprisingly, same girl from my Valentine's Day Hijinks post. Literally within 45 minutes of posting that, she texts me and asks what my blog is called. Creep.... So i ultimately decided to stall, delete the post, and let her take a look without (hopefully) compromising anything. You may wonder why I would re-post, but i highly doubt she would return here, it was probably just to read the Valentine's Day one. Anyways, I'd like input from total, objective strangers so i am going to type something like it up again. If you will only read one of my posts in it's entirety, please let it be this one.

     Lately i have been having some stomach aches due to potential unrequited infatuation... The kind where you realize the reality you hope for just isn't in the cards. I use the word potential because i am not sure if i truly like this girl though, i fear i may have romanticized things in my head a bit (or more, as i have done). We briefly saw each other a few weeks ago, and after we parted ways she sent me a text that said "not gonna lie, you got kinda hot since i last saw you", I dont hear things like that often, and it takes some cajones to just say that, so it felt good.  Damn good. Especially from her. i kept up some sort of texting relationship, and thats where things got tricky for me. Shes a kick ass girl, great qualities, the works, so i start asking myself, "do you think you're crushing on her?" Part of me says "yes, why wouldn't you be? you have high standards, and she exceeds them" while another is a bit more skeptical, "Are you sure its not just a by-proxy attraction, or an attraction to only the idea?" I am conflicted with how to figure things out, because there is a bit of a, uhhhh, complicated history between her and some of the people i hang out with. The pessimist (if not the realist) in me thinks things will turn sour/awkward/just plain fucked up very fast if i were to bring the two parts together.  My other fear is that things DO work out, i get what i want, and it turns out it wasn't what i was after in the first place...So for now, my hope is that i can keep things at the status quo for the time being while i screw my head on straight. Ugh the melodrama.

     Thats only the half of it, folks! She has a lingering ex, comparable only to genital herpes... Disappears, but never gone for good (oozing sores included). From what i have heard, the guy is a total scumbag piece of garbage who shes "happiest when with him"... despite feeling like shit on a near weekly basis due to him, coincidentally. This is a clear example of the Douchebag Theory. For those unfamiliar, ill post an image below. Its frustrating to think about, knowing some dipshit has the girl out of your reach, (one you wonder if you even have a chance with), on a short leash, taking advantage of the fact she can't shake the romanticized delusion (noun: a fixed false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact) of him being something he is clearly not. The worst part is, she thinks she is not good enough, more or less making her desperate to prove herself to him. How do you deal with that? Somehow she tricked herself into thinking she isnt good enough for him, which is how he is able to keep her on such a short leash. Cant things not be going the way she wants because hes a piece of shit? She wants it to work with him so bad at times, that when things are objectively decent at best, she is elated; thus thinking these are her happiest moments. But then true colors shine through and she despises him, perpetuating this annoying and frustrating cycle. There are noticeable gaps in that time though; i hope to appear in them and bat my eyelashes. But as for now, Hope is the only thing i have. Well that, and a stomach ache.

Douchebag Theory explained: 

if he treats me like shit.... then by getting him to like me... i have established self worth



23 comments:

  1. The douchebag theory is true! Theoretically!

    By the way does she still know your blog? She might just read this....

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  2. I've chased after a couple of girls like this, and never worth it. Just a bunch of wasted time and you get heart broken/angry when she goes back to him.

    If you want to, go for it though. This might end up better than my previous experiences. Good luck. :)

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  3. And I thought I over-think everything! I say don't worry about every possible scenario and just do what you what you feel is right.

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  4. nice theory, i'll be fucking annoying tomorrow

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  5. No need to chase this chick. Keep your texting game up and eventually that dude will fuck up REAL bad. And that's when she looks to you for comfort, thus that will be when you make the snatch.

    OR

    Just ask her out on a friendly date. Dinner, movie? Look good but not over dress, sweet talk her, Play your cards right, and she will forget about that guy real fast.

    I've had this situation happen to me a few times. All it's taken is that extra nice gesture to win her over.

    Good Luck!

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  6. I had a girl that I truly loved. She shit on my feelings. Now I will never love again.

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  7. kindros said it all.

    but if you think she is worth..

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  8. Eh I'm not so sure that the theory is true 100% of the time, mabye 50% at best

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  9. Wow the douchebag theory just blew my effing mind! I never thought of it that way....well anyways I think that you are definitely attracted to her but the only one who knows whether you're truly in love is you. She sounds like a great girl and she at least found you somewhat attractive from the text she sent you so at least you know THAT...but the douchebag is a problem that she'll have to face for herself so if she doesn't get out of there then I don't think you have much of a chance....yeah, douchebags fuck up anything good.

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  10. I have to agree its true most of the time, girls are attracted to assholes..for multiple reasons..the important thing is you have to man up and realize when the battle is lost and move on and find another girl..
    The bad thing is that if you "move on" too much you begin to lose hope, and you start thinking all girls are b*tches and you stop believing in love! (I know cus it happens to me)

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  11. huh i never noticed that parents do do that...

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  12. Hahaha, the douchebag theory doesn't apply to all girls though. Okey, here's what I think. I know how you feel, and tbh, I don't think you guys will work out. If you guys had a connection automatically, as in you made her laugh and happy and she made you laugh and happy at first time meeting, then you guys would have a chance. 'Cause I'm chasing after a girl who I don't know would fit me, but now, she's mine, and I DO love her... but sometimes we don't have those sparkling moments that me and some other girls do... But we're taking it slow to see if we do fit. So, just take it slow with her, and get to know her a lot more. I mean, we're still young, cmon, 'specially me haha (under 16). Trust me on this ;), and nice post!

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  13. My conclusion after reading this entire article is that you are lusting. Not exactly a bad thing, but make sure not to confuse it with love. Want find out? It's not a simple quick process. Become friends with her. If you can hang out with her and have chemistry that isn't sexual, then that's the kind of thing that lasts forever. Get to know her more deeply. A good friend always makes the best girlfriend. I know this from personal experience. My girlfriend and I were just good clean friends for 3 years before I asked her out.

    Now this whole thing with the ex boyfriend says something big about her personality in my opinion. I personally don't trust girls like her, the way you've described her. It sounds like she's more interested in drama than real caring relationships. In my experience, girls like this aren't too obsessed with drama, and a long caring relationship just bores them. Girls like this will do things to cause drama and frustration. I don't think they intend to do that, but they're craze for drama draws them make irrational decisions.

    I still think you should try to just be friends. See what she's like and if you find she tries to drag you into a dramatic soup-opera type situations, it's probably best to just take a hike.

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  14. Just let it go mate! Nothing is worth that much heartache.

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  15. My theory: their mothers told them to always douche regularly, but didn't clarify that a douche is actually a vaginal cleaning device, not an asshole guy.

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  16. Try not to focus on just one girl. There are many fish in the sea! This one girl will view you with higher social value as well. Interesting post good stuff!

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  17. I never really thought about the douchebag theory like that..It makes a lot of sense. Best of luck with your girl issues!

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  18. Have you tried telling this to her? It might be in your best interests to steer clear of her too - if she actually started liking you, you'd have to be strong enough in your own personality to withstand her clinginess.

    Classic case of 'Be careful what you wish for - you just might get it.' Make sure you want what you're going for, and dont expect someone to change their personality when they change partners.

    Good read - Following!
    Holy Warfare: Top Ten Judeo/Christian Final Bosses!

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  19. i hate douchebags, but you have to live with them i guess! :/

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